The holidays are a time of joy, excitement and family gatherings. But they can also be a time of considerable stress. Trying to add holiday decorating, shopping, baking and gift wrapping to an already hectic schedule can turn life chaotic. Part of the problem is our expectations. In our quest to create the “perfect” holiday, we often drive ourselves and our families crazy.

You can reclaim the joy of the holiday season and decrease your stress levels by paring down your to-do list and being more realistic in your expectations. You don’t have to blanket the entire house with holiday decorations. Showcase a few of your favorite pieces in the most heavily used rooms. No time to bake? Pick up some cookies at the bakery or buy a box of your favorites. Instead of spending hours fighting mall crowds, do your shopping online and have gifts delivered directly to out-of-town family. If gift wrapping makes you cringe, buy gift bags.

And don’t forget to take care of yourself. Maintain your exercise routine to keep your energy high and work off those extra calories from holiday goodies. Enjoy holiday foods but don’t overindulge. Try to maintain a healthful diet and limit junk food, caffeine, and alcohol, which exacerbate stress. Indulge yourself. Get a massage, take a nap, read a good book or chat with a friend. Look for the humor amidst the chaos. A good belly laugh is a great stress reliever.

Spend your holidays doing the things that give you the most pleasure. In years to come, you’ll remember the time you spent with your family, not that you had holiday-themed hand towels in every bathroom.